Finished refactor of violence
This commit is contained in:
Luke Rogers
parent
69775a0cc7
commit
297806308c
4 changed files with 155 additions and 138 deletions
5
plugins/data/kill_bodyparts.txt
Executable file
5
plugins/data/kill_bodyparts.txt
Executable file
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@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
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head
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arms
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leg
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arm
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"special parts"
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23
plugins/data/kills.txt
Executable file
23
plugins/data/kills.txt
Executable file
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@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
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rips off <who>'s <body> and leaves them to die.
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grabs <who>'s head and rips it clean off their body.
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grabs a machine gun and riddles <who>'s body with bullets.
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sends The Terminator on a mission to retrieve <who>'s <body>.
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gags and ties <who> then throws them off a bridge.
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crushes <who> with a huge spiked boulder.
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glares at <who> until they die of boredom.
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stuffs a few TNT blocks under <who>'s bed and sets them off.
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shivs <who> in the <body>.
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rams a rocket launcher up <who>'s ass and lets off a few rounds.
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crushes <who>'s skull in with a spiked mace.
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unleashes the armies of Isengard on <who>.
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packs <who> into a SVN repo.
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slices <who>'s <body> off with a Katana.
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throws <who> to Cthulu!
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feeds <who> to an owlbear.
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turns <who> into a snail and salts them.
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snacks on <who>'s <body>.
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puts <who> into a sack, throws the sack in the river, and hurls the river into space.
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goes bowling with <who>'s head.
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uses <who>'s <body> as a back-scratcher.
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sends <who> to /dev/null!
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feeds <who> coke and mentos till they pop!
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106
plugins/data/larts.txt
Executable file
106
plugins/data/larts.txt
Executable file
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@ -0,0 +1,106 @@
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swaps <who>'s shampoo with glue.
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installs Windows on <who>'s computer.
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forces <who> to use perl for 3 weeks.
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registers <who>'s name with 50 known spammers.
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resizes <who>'s console to 40x24.
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takes <who>'s drink.
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dispenses <who>'s email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'.
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pokes <who> in the eye.
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beats <who> senseless with a 50lb Linux manual.
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cats /dev/random into <who>'s ear.
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signs <who> up for AOL.
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downvotes <who> on Reddit.
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enrolls <who> in Visual Basic 101.
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sporks <who>.
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drops a truckload of support tickets on <who>.
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judo chops <who>.
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sets <who>'s resolution to 800x600.
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formats <who>'s harddrive to fat12.
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rm -rf's <who>.
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stabs <who>.
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makes <who> learn C++.
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steals <who>'s mojo.
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strangles <who> with a doohicky mouse cord.
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whacks <who> with the cluebat.
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sells <who> on EBay.
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drops creepers on <who>'s house.
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throws all of <who>'s diamond gear into lava.
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uses <who> as a biological warfare study.
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uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on <who>.
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puts <who> in the Total Perspective Vortex.
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casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.
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gives <who> a melvin.
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turns <who> over to the Fun Police.
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turns over <who> to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'.
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takes away <who>'s internet connection.
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pushes <who> past the Shoe Event Horizon.
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counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at <who>.
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puts <who> in a nest of camel spiders.
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makes <who> read slashdot at -1.
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puts 'alias vim=emacs' in <who>'s /etc/profile.
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uninstalls every web browser from <who>'s system.
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locks <who> in the Chateau d'If.
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signs <who> up for getting hit on the head lessons.
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makes <who> try to set up a Lexmark printer.
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fills <who>'s eyedrop bottle with lime juice.
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casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.
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gives <who> a Flying Dutchman.
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rips off <who>'s arm, and uses it to beat them to death.
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pierces <who>'s nose with a rusty paper hole puncher.
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pokes <who> with a rusty nail.
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puts sugar between <who>'s bedsheets.
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pours sand into <who>'s breakfast.
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mixes epoxy into <who>'s toothpaste.
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puts Icy-Hot in <who>'s lube container.
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straps <who> to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\".
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tells Dr. Dre that <who> was talking smack.
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forces <who> to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing.
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smacks <who> in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass.
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puts <who> in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives.
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makes <who> watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\".
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puts lye in <who>'s coffee.
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introduces <who> to the clue-by-four.
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tattoos the Windows symbol on <who>'s ass.
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lets Borg have his way with <who>.
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signs <who> up for line dancing classes at the local senior center.
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wakes <who> out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings.
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gives <who> a 2 gauge Prince Albert.
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forces <who> to eat all their veggies.
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covers <who>'s toilet paper with lemon-pepper.
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fills <who>'s ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce.
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forces <who> to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly never-ending IRC political debate.
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knocks two of <who>'s teeth out with a 2x4.
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removes Debian from <who>'s system.
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switches <who> over to CentOS.
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uses <who>'s iPod for skeet shooting practice.
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gives <who>'s phone number to Borg.
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posts <who>'s IP, username(s), and password(s) on 4chan.
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forces <who> to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass).
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tickles <who> until they wet their pants and pass out.
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replaces <who>'s KY with elmer's clear wood glue.
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replaces <who>'s TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets.
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squeezes habanero pepper juice into <who>'s tub of vaseline.
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forces <who> to learn the Win32 API.
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gives <who> an atomic wedgie.
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ties <who> to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast.
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forces <who> to use notepad for text editing.
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frowns at <who> really, really hard.
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jabs a hot lighter into <who>'s eye sockets.
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forces <who> to browse the web with IE6.
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takes <who> out at the knees with a broken pool cue.
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forces <who> to listen to emo music.
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lets a few creepers into <who>'s house.
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signs <who> up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship.
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attempts to hotswap <who>'s RAM.
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dragon punches <who>.
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puts railroad spikes into <who>'s side.
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replaces <who>'s Astroglide with JB Weld.
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replaces <who>'s stress pills with rat poison pellets.
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replaces <who>'s crotch itch cream with Nair.
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does the Australian Death Grip on <who>.
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dances upon the grave of <who>'s ancestors.
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farts in <who>'s general direction.
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flogs <who> with stinging nettle.
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intoduces <who> to the Knights who say Ni.
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assigns all of the permissions tickets on the BeastNode support system to <who>.
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hands <who> a poison ivy joint.
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@ -4,9 +4,19 @@ import random
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nick_re = re.compile(r"^[A-Za-z0-9_|.-\]\[]*$")
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nick_re = re.compile(r"^[A-Za-z0-9_|.-\]\[]*$")
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# define lists for messages
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larts = []
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kills = []
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kill_bodyparts = []
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slaps = []
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slaps = []
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slap_items = []
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slap_items = []
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with open("plugins/data/larts.txt") as f:
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for line in f.readlines():
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if line.startswith("//"):
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continue
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larts.append(line.strip())
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with open("plugins/data/slaps.txt") as f:
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with open("plugins/data/slaps.txt") as f:
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for line in f.readlines():
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for line in f.readlines():
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if line.startswith("//"):
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if line.startswith("//"):
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@ -19,144 +29,17 @@ with open("plugins/data/slap_items.txt") as f:
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continue
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continue
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slap_items.append(line.strip())
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slap_items.append(line.strip())
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larts = ["swaps <who>'s shampoo with glue.",
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with open("plugins/data/kills.txt") as f:
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"installs Windows on <who>'s computer.",
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for line in f.readlines():
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"forces <who> to use perl for 3 weeks.",
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if line.startswith("//"):
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"registers <who>'s name with 50 known spammers.",
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continue
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"resizes <who>'s console to 40x24.",
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kills.append(line.strip())
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"takes <who>'s drink.",
|
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"dispenses <who>'s email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'.",
|
|
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"pokes <who> in the eye.",
|
|
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"beats <who> senseless with a 50lb Linux manual.",
|
|
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"cats /dev/random into <who>'s ear.",
|
|
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"signs <who> up for AOL.",
|
|
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"downvotes <who> on Reddit.",
|
|
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"enrolls <who> in Visual Basic 101.",
|
|
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"sporks <who>.",
|
|
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"drops a truckload of support tickets on <who>.",
|
|
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"judo chops <who>.",
|
|
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"sets <who>'s resolution to 800x600.",
|
|
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"formats <who>'s harddrive to fat12.",
|
|
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"rm -rf's <who>.",
|
|
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"stabs <who>.",
|
|
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"makes <who> learn C++.",
|
|
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"steals <who>'s mojo.",
|
|
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"strangles <who> with a doohicky mouse cord.",
|
|
||||||
"whacks <who> with the cluebat.",
|
|
||||||
"sells <who> on EBay.",
|
|
||||||
"drops creepers on <who>'s house.",
|
|
||||||
"throws all of <who>'s diamond gear into lava.",
|
|
||||||
"uses <who> as a biological warfare study.",
|
|
||||||
"uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on <who>.",
|
|
||||||
"puts <who> in the Total Perspective Vortex.",
|
|
||||||
"casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.",
|
|
||||||
"gives <who> a melvin.",
|
|
||||||
"turns <who> over to the Fun Police.",
|
|
||||||
"turns over <who> to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'.",
|
|
||||||
"takes away <who>'s internet connection.",
|
|
||||||
"pushes <who> past the Shoe Event Horizon.",
|
|
||||||
"counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at <who>.",
|
|
||||||
"puts <who> in a nest of camel spiders.",
|
|
||||||
"makes <who> read slashdot at -1.",
|
|
||||||
"puts 'alias vim=emacs' in <who>'s /etc/profile.",
|
|
||||||
"uninstalls every web browser from <who>'s system.",
|
|
||||||
"locks <who> in the Chateau d'If.",
|
|
||||||
"signs <who> up for getting hit on the head lessons.",
|
|
||||||
"makes <who> try to set up a Lexmark printer.",
|
|
||||||
"fills <who>'s eyedrop bottle with lime juice.",
|
|
||||||
"casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.",
|
|
||||||
"gives <who> a Flying Dutchman.",
|
|
||||||
"rips off <who>'s arm, and uses it to beat them to death.",
|
|
||||||
"pierces <who>'s nose with a rusty paper hole puncher.",
|
|
||||||
"pokes <who> with a rusty nail.",
|
|
||||||
"puts sugar between <who>'s bedsheets.",
|
|
||||||
"pours sand into <who>'s breakfast.",
|
|
||||||
"mixes epoxy into <who>'s toothpaste.",
|
|
||||||
"puts Icy-Hot in <who>'s lube container.",
|
|
||||||
"straps <who> to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\".",
|
|
||||||
"tells Dr. Dre that <who> was talking smack.",
|
|
||||||
"forces <who> to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing.",
|
|
||||||
"smacks <who> in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass.",
|
|
||||||
"puts <who> in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives.",
|
|
||||||
"makes <who> watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\".",
|
|
||||||
"puts lye in <who>'s coffee.",
|
|
||||||
"introduces <who> to the clue-by-four.",
|
|
||||||
"tattoos the Windows symbol on <who>'s ass.",
|
|
||||||
"lets Borg have his way with <who>.",
|
|
||||||
"signs <who> up for line dancing classes at the local senior center.",
|
|
||||||
"wakes <who> out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings.",
|
|
||||||
"gives <who> a 2 gauge Prince Albert.",
|
|
||||||
"forces <who> to eat all their veggies.",
|
|
||||||
"covers <who>'s toilet paper with lemon-pepper.",
|
|
||||||
"fills <who>'s ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce.",
|
|
||||||
"forces <who> to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly never-ending IRC political debate.",
|
|
||||||
"knocks two of <who>'s teeth out with a 2x4.",
|
|
||||||
"removes Debian from <who>'s system.",
|
|
||||||
"switches <who> over to CentOS.",
|
|
||||||
"uses <who>'s iPod for skeet shooting practice.",
|
|
||||||
"gives <who>'s phone number to Borg.",
|
|
||||||
"posts <who>'s IP, username(s), and password(s) on 4chan.",
|
|
||||||
"forces <who> to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass).",
|
|
||||||
"tickles <who> until they wet their pants and pass out.",
|
|
||||||
"replaces <who>'s KY with elmer's clear wood glue.",
|
|
||||||
"replaces <who>'s TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets.",
|
|
||||||
"squeezes habanero pepper juice into <who>'s tub of vaseline.",
|
|
||||||
"forces <who> to learn the Win32 API.",
|
|
||||||
"gives <who> an atomic wedgie.",
|
|
||||||
"ties <who> to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast.",
|
|
||||||
"forces <who> to use notepad for text editing.",
|
|
||||||
"frowns at <who> really, really hard.",
|
|
||||||
"jabs a hot lighter into <who>'s eye sockets.",
|
|
||||||
"forces <who> to browse the web with IE6.",
|
|
||||||
"takes <who> out at the knees with a broken pool cue.",
|
|
||||||
"forces <who> to listen to emo music.",
|
|
||||||
"lets a few creepers into <who>'s house.",
|
|
||||||
"signs <who> up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship.",
|
|
||||||
"attempts to hotswap <who>'s RAM.",
|
|
||||||
"dragon punches <who>.",
|
|
||||||
"puts railroad spikes into <who>'s side.",
|
|
||||||
"replaces <who>'s Astroglide with JB Weld.",
|
|
||||||
"replaces <who>'s stress pills with rat poison pellets.",
|
|
||||||
"replaces <who>'s crotch itch cream with Nair.",
|
|
||||||
"does the Australian Death Grip on <who>.",
|
|
||||||
"dances upon the grave of <who>'s ancestors.",
|
|
||||||
"farts in <who>'s general direction.",
|
|
||||||
"flogs <who> with stinging nettle.",
|
|
||||||
"intoduces <who> to the Knights who say Ni.",
|
|
||||||
"assigns all of the permissions tickets on the BeastNode support system to <who>.",
|
|
||||||
"hands <who> a poison ivy joint."]
|
|
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|
|
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with open("plugins/data/kill_bodyparts.txt") as f:
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kills = ["rips off <who>'s <body> and leaves them to die.",
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for line in f.readlines():
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||||||
"grabs <who>'s head and rips it clean off their body.",
|
if line.startswith("//"):
|
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"grabs a machine gun and riddles <who>'s body with bullets.",
|
continue
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"sends The Terminator on a mission to retrieve <who>'s <body>.",
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kill_bodyparts.append(line.strip())
|
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"gags and ties <who> then throws them off a bridge.",
|
|
||||||
"crushes <who> with a huge spiked boulder.",
|
|
||||||
"glares at <who> until they die of boredom.",
|
|
||||||
"stuffs a few TNT blocks under <who>'s bed and sets them off.",
|
|
||||||
"shivs <who> in the <body>.",
|
|
||||||
"rams a rocket launcher up <who>'s ass and lets off a few rounds.",
|
|
||||||
"crushes <who>'s skull in with a spiked mace.",
|
|
||||||
"unleashes the armies of Isengard on <who>.",
|
|
||||||
"packs <who> into a SVN repo.",
|
|
||||||
"slices <who>'s <body> off with a Katana.",
|
|
||||||
"throws <who> to Cthulu!",
|
|
||||||
"feeds <who> to an owlbear.",
|
|
||||||
"turns <who> into a snail and salts them.",
|
|
||||||
"snacks on <who>'s <body>.",
|
|
||||||
"puts <who> into a sack, throws the sack in the river, and hurls the river into space.",
|
|
||||||
"goes bowling with <who>'s head.",
|
|
||||||
"uses <who>'s <body> as a back-scratcher.",
|
|
||||||
"sends <who> to /dev/null!",
|
|
||||||
"feeds <who> coke and mentos till they pop!"]
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body = ['head',
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'arms',
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'leg',
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'arm',
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'"special parts"']
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@hook.command
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@hook.command
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@ -218,5 +101,5 @@ def kill(inp, me=None, nick=None, conn=None, notice=None):
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||||||
out = random.choice(kills)
|
out = random.choice(kills)
|
||||||
out = out.replace('<who>', target)
|
out = out.replace('<who>', target)
|
||||||
out = out.replace('<body>', random.choice(body))
|
out = out.replace('<body>', random.choice(kill_bodyparts))
|
||||||
me(out)
|
me(out)
|
||||||
|
|
|
||||||
Reference in a new issue