diff --git a/plugins/data/kill_bodyparts.txt b/plugins/data/kill_bodyparts.txt new file mode 100755 index 0000000..35dcc8d --- /dev/null +++ b/plugins/data/kill_bodyparts.txt @@ -0,0 +1,5 @@ +head +arms +leg +arm +"special parts" diff --git a/plugins/data/kills.txt b/plugins/data/kills.txt new file mode 100755 index 0000000..6ff53d1 --- /dev/null +++ b/plugins/data/kills.txt @@ -0,0 +1,23 @@ +rips off 's and leaves them to die. +grabs 's head and rips it clean off their body. +grabs a machine gun and riddles 's body with bullets. +sends The Terminator on a mission to retrieve 's . +gags and ties then throws them off a bridge. +crushes with a huge spiked boulder. +glares at until they die of boredom. +stuffs a few TNT blocks under 's bed and sets them off. +shivs in the . +rams a rocket launcher up 's ass and lets off a few rounds. +crushes 's skull in with a spiked mace. +unleashes the armies of Isengard on . +packs into a SVN repo. +slices 's off with a Katana. +throws to Cthulu! +feeds to an owlbear. +turns into a snail and salts them. +snacks on 's . +puts into a sack, throws the sack in the river, and hurls the river into space. +goes bowling with 's head. +uses 's as a back-scratcher. +sends to /dev/null! +feeds coke and mentos till they pop! diff --git a/plugins/data/larts.txt b/plugins/data/larts.txt new file mode 100755 index 0000000..bf2f0f1 --- /dev/null +++ b/plugins/data/larts.txt @@ -0,0 +1,106 @@ +swaps 's shampoo with glue. +installs Windows on 's computer. +forces to use perl for 3 weeks. +registers 's name with 50 known spammers. +resizes 's console to 40x24. +takes 's drink. +dispenses 's email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'. +pokes in the eye. +beats senseless with a 50lb Linux manual. +cats /dev/random into 's ear. +signs up for AOL. +downvotes on Reddit. +enrolls in Visual Basic 101. +sporks . +drops a truckload of support tickets on . +judo chops . +sets 's resolution to 800x600. +formats 's harddrive to fat12. +rm -rf's . +stabs . +makes learn C++. +steals 's mojo. +strangles with a doohicky mouse cord. +whacks with the cluebat. +sells on EBay. +drops creepers on 's house. +throws all of 's diamond gear into lava. +uses as a biological warfare study. +uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on . +puts in the Total Perspective Vortex. +casts into the fires of Mt. Doom. +gives a melvin. +turns over to the Fun Police. +turns over to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'. +takes away 's internet connection. +pushes past the Shoe Event Horizon. +counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at . +puts in a nest of camel spiders. +makes read slashdot at -1. +puts 'alias vim=emacs' in 's /etc/profile. +uninstalls every web browser from 's system. +locks in the Chateau d'If. +signs up for getting hit on the head lessons. +makes try to set up a Lexmark printer. +fills 's eyedrop bottle with lime juice. +casts into the fires of Mt. Doom. +gives a Flying Dutchman. +rips off 's arm, and uses it to beat them to death. +pierces 's nose with a rusty paper hole puncher. +pokes with a rusty nail. +puts sugar between 's bedsheets. +pours sand into 's breakfast. +mixes epoxy into 's toothpaste. +puts Icy-Hot in 's lube container. +straps to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\". +tells Dr. Dre that was talking smack. +forces to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing. +smacks in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass. +puts in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives. +makes watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\". +puts lye in 's coffee. +introduces to the clue-by-four. +tattoos the Windows symbol on 's ass. +lets Borg have his way with . +signs up for line dancing classes at the local senior center. +wakes out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings. +gives a 2 gauge Prince Albert. +forces to eat all their veggies. +covers 's toilet paper with lemon-pepper. +fills 's ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce. +forces to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly never-ending IRC political debate. +knocks two of 's teeth out with a 2x4. +removes Debian from 's system. +switches over to CentOS. +uses 's iPod for skeet shooting practice. +gives 's phone number to Borg. +posts 's IP, username(s), and password(s) on 4chan. +forces to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass). +tickles until they wet their pants and pass out. +replaces 's KY with elmer's clear wood glue. +replaces 's TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets. +squeezes habanero pepper juice into 's tub of vaseline. +forces to learn the Win32 API. +gives an atomic wedgie. +ties to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast. +forces to use notepad for text editing. +frowns at really, really hard. +jabs a hot lighter into 's eye sockets. +forces to browse the web with IE6. +takes out at the knees with a broken pool cue. +forces to listen to emo music. +lets a few creepers into 's house. +signs up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship. +attempts to hotswap 's RAM. +dragon punches . +puts railroad spikes into 's side. +replaces 's Astroglide with JB Weld. +replaces 's stress pills with rat poison pellets. +replaces 's crotch itch cream with Nair. +does the Australian Death Grip on . +dances upon the grave of 's ancestors. +farts in 's general direction. +flogs with stinging nettle. +intoduces to the Knights who say Ni. +assigns all of the permissions tickets on the BeastNode support system to . +hands a poison ivy joint. diff --git a/plugins/violence.py b/plugins/violence.py index 1ea9a2e..603f7c5 100644 --- a/plugins/violence.py +++ b/plugins/violence.py @@ -4,9 +4,19 @@ import random nick_re = re.compile(r"^[A-Za-z0-9_|.-\]\[]*$") +# define lists for messages +larts = [] +kills = [] +kill_bodyparts = [] slaps = [] slap_items = [] +with open("plugins/data/larts.txt") as f: + for line in f.readlines(): + if line.startswith("//"): + continue + larts.append(line.strip()) + with open("plugins/data/slaps.txt") as f: for line in f.readlines(): if line.startswith("//"): @@ -19,144 +29,17 @@ with open("plugins/data/slap_items.txt") as f: continue slap_items.append(line.strip()) -larts = ["swaps 's shampoo with glue.", - "installs Windows on 's computer.", - "forces to use perl for 3 weeks.", - "registers 's name with 50 known spammers.", - "resizes 's console to 40x24.", - "takes 's drink.", - "dispenses 's email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'.", - "pokes in the eye.", - "beats senseless with a 50lb Linux manual.", - "cats /dev/random into 's ear.", - "signs up for AOL.", - "downvotes on Reddit.", - "enrolls in Visual Basic 101.", - "sporks .", - "drops a truckload of support tickets on .", - "judo chops .", - "sets 's resolution to 800x600.", - "formats 's harddrive to fat12.", - "rm -rf's .", - "stabs .", - "makes learn C++.", - "steals 's mojo.", - "strangles with a doohicky mouse cord.", - "whacks with the cluebat.", - "sells on EBay.", - "drops creepers on 's house.", - "throws all of 's diamond gear into lava.", - "uses as a biological warfare study.", - "uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on .", - "puts in the Total Perspective Vortex.", - "casts into the fires of Mt. Doom.", - "gives a melvin.", - "turns over to the Fun Police.", - "turns over to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'.", - "takes away 's internet connection.", - "pushes past the Shoe Event Horizon.", - "counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at .", - "puts in a nest of camel spiders.", - "makes read slashdot at -1.", - "puts 'alias vim=emacs' in 's /etc/profile.", - "uninstalls every web browser from 's system.", - "locks in the Chateau d'If.", - "signs up for getting hit on the head lessons.", - "makes try to set up a Lexmark printer.", - "fills 's eyedrop bottle with lime juice.", - "casts into the fires of Mt. Doom.", - "gives a Flying Dutchman.", - "rips off 's arm, and uses it to beat them to death.", - "pierces 's nose with a rusty paper hole puncher.", - "pokes with a rusty nail.", - "puts sugar between 's bedsheets.", - "pours sand into 's breakfast.", - "mixes epoxy into 's toothpaste.", - "puts Icy-Hot in 's lube container.", - "straps to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\".", - "tells Dr. Dre that was talking smack.", - "forces to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing.", - "smacks in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass.", - "puts in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives.", - "makes watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\".", - "puts lye in 's coffee.", - "introduces to the clue-by-four.", - "tattoos the Windows symbol on 's ass.", - "lets Borg have his way with .", - "signs up for line dancing classes at the local senior center.", - "wakes out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings.", - "gives a 2 gauge Prince Albert.", - "forces to eat all their veggies.", - "covers 's toilet paper with lemon-pepper.", - "fills 's ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce.", - "forces to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly never-ending IRC political debate.", - "knocks two of 's teeth out with a 2x4.", - "removes Debian from 's system.", - "switches over to CentOS.", - "uses 's iPod for skeet shooting practice.", - "gives 's phone number to Borg.", - "posts 's IP, username(s), and password(s) on 4chan.", - "forces to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass).", - "tickles until they wet their pants and pass out.", - "replaces 's KY with elmer's clear wood glue.", - "replaces 's TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets.", - "squeezes habanero pepper juice into 's tub of vaseline.", - "forces to learn the Win32 API.", - "gives an atomic wedgie.", - "ties to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast.", - "forces to use notepad for text editing.", - "frowns at really, really hard.", - "jabs a hot lighter into 's eye sockets.", - "forces to browse the web with IE6.", - "takes out at the knees with a broken pool cue.", - "forces to listen to emo music.", - "lets a few creepers into 's house.", - "signs up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship.", - "attempts to hotswap 's RAM.", - "dragon punches .", - "puts railroad spikes into 's side.", - "replaces 's Astroglide with JB Weld.", - "replaces 's stress pills with rat poison pellets.", - "replaces 's crotch itch cream with Nair.", - "does the Australian Death Grip on .", - "dances upon the grave of 's ancestors.", - "farts in 's general direction.", - "flogs with stinging nettle.", - "intoduces to the Knights who say Ni.", - "assigns all of the permissions tickets on the BeastNode support system to .", - "hands a poison ivy joint."] +with open("plugins/data/kills.txt") as f: + for line in f.readlines(): + if line.startswith("//"): + continue + kills.append(line.strip()) - -kills = ["rips off 's and leaves them to die.", - "grabs 's head and rips it clean off their body.", - "grabs a machine gun and riddles 's body with bullets.", - "sends The Terminator on a mission to retrieve 's .", - "gags and ties then throws them off a bridge.", - "crushes with a huge spiked boulder.", - "glares at until they die of boredom.", - "stuffs a few TNT blocks under 's bed and sets them off.", - "shivs in the .", - "rams a rocket launcher up 's ass and lets off a few rounds.", - "crushes 's skull in with a spiked mace.", - "unleashes the armies of Isengard on .", - "packs into a SVN repo.", - "slices 's off with a Katana.", - "throws to Cthulu!", - "feeds to an owlbear.", - "turns into a snail and salts them.", - "snacks on 's .", - "puts into a sack, throws the sack in the river, and hurls the river into space.", - "goes bowling with 's head.", - "uses 's as a back-scratcher.", - "sends to /dev/null!", - "feeds coke and mentos till they pop!"] - - -body = ['head', - 'arms', - 'leg', - 'arm', - '"special parts"'] +with open("plugins/data/kill_bodyparts.txt") as f: + for line in f.readlines(): + if line.startswith("//"): + continue + kill_bodyparts.append(line.strip()) @hook.command @@ -218,5 +101,5 @@ def kill(inp, me=None, nick=None, conn=None, notice=None): out = random.choice(kills) out = out.replace('', target) - out = out.replace('', random.choice(body)) + out = out.replace('', random.choice(kill_bodyparts)) me(out)