Finished refactor of violence

This commit is contained in:
Luke Rogers 2012-03-26 18:32:20 +13:00
parent 69775a0cc7
commit 297806308c
4 changed files with 155 additions and 138 deletions

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@ -0,0 +1,5 @@
head
arms
leg
arm
"special parts"

23
plugins/data/kills.txt Executable file
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@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
rips off <who>'s <body> and leaves them to die.
grabs <who>'s head and rips it clean off their body.
grabs a machine gun and riddles <who>'s body with bullets.
sends The Terminator on a mission to retrieve <who>'s <body>.
gags and ties <who> then throws them off a bridge.
crushes <who> with a huge spiked boulder.
glares at <who> until they die of boredom.
stuffs a few TNT blocks under <who>'s bed and sets them off.
shivs <who> in the <body>.
rams a rocket launcher up <who>'s ass and lets off a few rounds.
crushes <who>'s skull in with a spiked mace.
unleashes the armies of Isengard on <who>.
packs <who> into a SVN repo.
slices <who>'s <body> off with a Katana.
throws <who> to Cthulu!
feeds <who> to an owlbear.
turns <who> into a snail and salts them.
snacks on <who>'s <body>.
puts <who> into a sack, throws the sack in the river, and hurls the river into space.
goes bowling with <who>'s head.
uses <who>'s <body> as a back-scratcher.
sends <who> to /dev/null!
feeds <who> coke and mentos till they pop!

106
plugins/data/larts.txt Executable file
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@ -0,0 +1,106 @@
swaps <who>'s shampoo with glue.
installs Windows on <who>'s computer.
forces <who> to use perl for 3 weeks.
registers <who>'s name with 50 known spammers.
resizes <who>'s console to 40x24.
takes <who>'s drink.
dispenses <who>'s email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'.
pokes <who> in the eye.
beats <who> senseless with a 50lb Linux manual.
cats /dev/random into <who>'s ear.
signs <who> up for AOL.
downvotes <who> on Reddit.
enrolls <who> in Visual Basic 101.
sporks <who>.
drops a truckload of support tickets on <who>.
judo chops <who>.
sets <who>'s resolution to 800x600.
formats <who>'s harddrive to fat12.
rm -rf's <who>.
stabs <who>.
makes <who> learn C++.
steals <who>'s mojo.
strangles <who> with a doohicky mouse cord.
whacks <who> with the cluebat.
sells <who> on EBay.
drops creepers on <who>'s house.
throws all of <who>'s diamond gear into lava.
uses <who> as a biological warfare study.
uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on <who>.
puts <who> in the Total Perspective Vortex.
casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.
gives <who> a melvin.
turns <who> over to the Fun Police.
turns over <who> to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'.
takes away <who>'s internet connection.
pushes <who> past the Shoe Event Horizon.
counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at <who>.
puts <who> in a nest of camel spiders.
makes <who> read slashdot at -1.
puts 'alias vim=emacs' in <who>'s /etc/profile.
uninstalls every web browser from <who>'s system.
locks <who> in the Chateau d'If.
signs <who> up for getting hit on the head lessons.
makes <who> try to set up a Lexmark printer.
fills <who>'s eyedrop bottle with lime juice.
casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.
gives <who> a Flying Dutchman.
rips off <who>'s arm, and uses it to beat them to death.
pierces <who>'s nose with a rusty paper hole puncher.
pokes <who> with a rusty nail.
puts sugar between <who>'s bedsheets.
pours sand into <who>'s breakfast.
mixes epoxy into <who>'s toothpaste.
puts Icy-Hot in <who>'s lube container.
straps <who> to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\".
tells Dr. Dre that <who> was talking smack.
forces <who> to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing.
smacks <who> in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass.
puts <who> in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives.
makes <who> watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\".
puts lye in <who>'s coffee.
introduces <who> to the clue-by-four.
tattoos the Windows symbol on <who>'s ass.
lets Borg have his way with <who>.
signs <who> up for line dancing classes at the local senior center.
wakes <who> out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings.
gives <who> a 2 gauge Prince Albert.
forces <who> to eat all their veggies.
covers <who>'s toilet paper with lemon-pepper.
fills <who>'s ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce.
forces <who> to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly never-ending IRC political debate.
knocks two of <who>'s teeth out with a 2x4.
removes Debian from <who>'s system.
switches <who> over to CentOS.
uses <who>'s iPod for skeet shooting practice.
gives <who>'s phone number to Borg.
posts <who>'s IP, username(s), and password(s) on 4chan.
forces <who> to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass).
tickles <who> until they wet their pants and pass out.
replaces <who>'s KY with elmer's clear wood glue.
replaces <who>'s TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets.
squeezes habanero pepper juice into <who>'s tub of vaseline.
forces <who> to learn the Win32 API.
gives <who> an atomic wedgie.
ties <who> to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast.
forces <who> to use notepad for text editing.
frowns at <who> really, really hard.
jabs a hot lighter into <who>'s eye sockets.
forces <who> to browse the web with IE6.
takes <who> out at the knees with a broken pool cue.
forces <who> to listen to emo music.
lets a few creepers into <who>'s house.
signs <who> up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship.
attempts to hotswap <who>'s RAM.
dragon punches <who>.
puts railroad spikes into <who>'s side.
replaces <who>'s Astroglide with JB Weld.
replaces <who>'s stress pills with rat poison pellets.
replaces <who>'s crotch itch cream with Nair.
does the Australian Death Grip on <who>.
dances upon the grave of <who>'s ancestors.
farts in <who>'s general direction.
flogs <who> with stinging nettle.
intoduces <who> to the Knights who say Ni.
assigns all of the permissions tickets on the BeastNode support system to <who>.
hands <who> a poison ivy joint.

View file

@ -4,9 +4,19 @@ import random
nick_re = re.compile(r"^[A-Za-z0-9_|.-\]\[]*$")
# define lists for messages
larts = []
kills = []
kill_bodyparts = []
slaps = []
slap_items = []
with open("plugins/data/larts.txt") as f:
for line in f.readlines():
if line.startswith("//"):
continue
larts.append(line.strip())
with open("plugins/data/slaps.txt") as f:
for line in f.readlines():
if line.startswith("//"):
@ -19,144 +29,17 @@ with open("plugins/data/slap_items.txt") as f:
continue
slap_items.append(line.strip())
larts = ["swaps <who>'s shampoo with glue.",
"installs Windows on <who>'s computer.",
"forces <who> to use perl for 3 weeks.",
"registers <who>'s name with 50 known spammers.",
"resizes <who>'s console to 40x24.",
"takes <who>'s drink.",
"dispenses <who>'s email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'.",
"pokes <who> in the eye.",
"beats <who> senseless with a 50lb Linux manual.",
"cats /dev/random into <who>'s ear.",
"signs <who> up for AOL.",
"downvotes <who> on Reddit.",
"enrolls <who> in Visual Basic 101.",
"sporks <who>.",
"drops a truckload of support tickets on <who>.",
"judo chops <who>.",
"sets <who>'s resolution to 800x600.",
"formats <who>'s harddrive to fat12.",
"rm -rf's <who>.",
"stabs <who>.",
"makes <who> learn C++.",
"steals <who>'s mojo.",
"strangles <who> with a doohicky mouse cord.",
"whacks <who> with the cluebat.",
"sells <who> on EBay.",
"drops creepers on <who>'s house.",
"throws all of <who>'s diamond gear into lava.",
"uses <who> as a biological warfare study.",
"uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on <who>.",
"puts <who> in the Total Perspective Vortex.",
"casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.",
"gives <who> a melvin.",
"turns <who> over to the Fun Police.",
"turns over <who> to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'.",
"takes away <who>'s internet connection.",
"pushes <who> past the Shoe Event Horizon.",
"counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at <who>.",
"puts <who> in a nest of camel spiders.",
"makes <who> read slashdot at -1.",
"puts 'alias vim=emacs' in <who>'s /etc/profile.",
"uninstalls every web browser from <who>'s system.",
"locks <who> in the Chateau d'If.",
"signs <who> up for getting hit on the head lessons.",
"makes <who> try to set up a Lexmark printer.",
"fills <who>'s eyedrop bottle with lime juice.",
"casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.",
"gives <who> a Flying Dutchman.",
"rips off <who>'s arm, and uses it to beat them to death.",
"pierces <who>'s nose with a rusty paper hole puncher.",
"pokes <who> with a rusty nail.",
"puts sugar between <who>'s bedsheets.",
"pours sand into <who>'s breakfast.",
"mixes epoxy into <who>'s toothpaste.",
"puts Icy-Hot in <who>'s lube container.",
"straps <who> to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\".",
"tells Dr. Dre that <who> was talking smack.",
"forces <who> to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing.",
"smacks <who> in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass.",
"puts <who> in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives.",
"makes <who> watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\".",
"puts lye in <who>'s coffee.",
"introduces <who> to the clue-by-four.",
"tattoos the Windows symbol on <who>'s ass.",
"lets Borg have his way with <who>.",
"signs <who> up for line dancing classes at the local senior center.",
"wakes <who> out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings.",
"gives <who> a 2 gauge Prince Albert.",
"forces <who> to eat all their veggies.",
"covers <who>'s toilet paper with lemon-pepper.",
"fills <who>'s ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce.",
"forces <who> to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly never-ending IRC political debate.",
"knocks two of <who>'s teeth out with a 2x4.",
"removes Debian from <who>'s system.",
"switches <who> over to CentOS.",
"uses <who>'s iPod for skeet shooting practice.",
"gives <who>'s phone number to Borg.",
"posts <who>'s IP, username(s), and password(s) on 4chan.",
"forces <who> to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass).",
"tickles <who> until they wet their pants and pass out.",
"replaces <who>'s KY with elmer's clear wood glue.",
"replaces <who>'s TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets.",
"squeezes habanero pepper juice into <who>'s tub of vaseline.",
"forces <who> to learn the Win32 API.",
"gives <who> an atomic wedgie.",
"ties <who> to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast.",
"forces <who> to use notepad for text editing.",
"frowns at <who> really, really hard.",
"jabs a hot lighter into <who>'s eye sockets.",
"forces <who> to browse the web with IE6.",
"takes <who> out at the knees with a broken pool cue.",
"forces <who> to listen to emo music.",
"lets a few creepers into <who>'s house.",
"signs <who> up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship.",
"attempts to hotswap <who>'s RAM.",
"dragon punches <who>.",
"puts railroad spikes into <who>'s side.",
"replaces <who>'s Astroglide with JB Weld.",
"replaces <who>'s stress pills with rat poison pellets.",
"replaces <who>'s crotch itch cream with Nair.",
"does the Australian Death Grip on <who>.",
"dances upon the grave of <who>'s ancestors.",
"farts in <who>'s general direction.",
"flogs <who> with stinging nettle.",
"intoduces <who> to the Knights who say Ni.",
"assigns all of the permissions tickets on the BeastNode support system to <who>.",
"hands <who> a poison ivy joint."]
with open("plugins/data/kills.txt") as f:
for line in f.readlines():
if line.startswith("//"):
continue
kills.append(line.strip())
kills = ["rips off <who>'s <body> and leaves them to die.",
"grabs <who>'s head and rips it clean off their body.",
"grabs a machine gun and riddles <who>'s body with bullets.",
"sends The Terminator on a mission to retrieve <who>'s <body>.",
"gags and ties <who> then throws them off a bridge.",
"crushes <who> with a huge spiked boulder.",
"glares at <who> until they die of boredom.",
"stuffs a few TNT blocks under <who>'s bed and sets them off.",
"shivs <who> in the <body>.",
"rams a rocket launcher up <who>'s ass and lets off a few rounds.",
"crushes <who>'s skull in with a spiked mace.",
"unleashes the armies of Isengard on <who>.",
"packs <who> into a SVN repo.",
"slices <who>'s <body> off with a Katana.",
"throws <who> to Cthulu!",
"feeds <who> to an owlbear.",
"turns <who> into a snail and salts them.",
"snacks on <who>'s <body>.",
"puts <who> into a sack, throws the sack in the river, and hurls the river into space.",
"goes bowling with <who>'s head.",
"uses <who>'s <body> as a back-scratcher.",
"sends <who> to /dev/null!",
"feeds <who> coke and mentos till they pop!"]
body = ['head',
'arms',
'leg',
'arm',
'"special parts"']
with open("plugins/data/kill_bodyparts.txt") as f:
for line in f.readlines():
if line.startswith("//"):
continue
kill_bodyparts.append(line.strip())
@hook.command
@ -218,5 +101,5 @@ def kill(inp, me=None, nick=None, conn=None, notice=None):
out = random.choice(kills)
out = out.replace('<who>', target)
out = out.replace('<body>', random.choice(body))
out = out.replace('<body>', random.choice(kill_bodyparts))
me(out)