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Tweaks/additions to lart.py

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neersighted 2012-03-03 14:14:40 -08:00
parent 9a66001c8d
commit bef009c54e
1 changed files with 104 additions and 101 deletions
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205
plugins/lart.py
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@ -2,109 +2,112 @@ from util import hook
import re import re
import random import random
larts = ["swaps <who>'s shampoo with glue", larts = ["swaps <who>'s shampoo with glue.",
"installs windows on <who>'s machine", "installs Windows on <who>'s computer.",
"forces <who> to use perl for 3 weeks", "forces <who> to use perl for 3 weeks.",
"registers <who>'s name with 50 known spammers", "registers <who>'s name with 50 known spammers.",
"resizes <who>'s console to 40x24", "resizes <who>'s console to 40x24.",
"takes <who>'s drink", "takes <who>'s drink.",
"dispenses <who>'s email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'", "dispenses <who>'s email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'.",
"pokes <who> in the eye", "pokes <who> in the eye.",
"beats <who> senseless with a 50lb Linux manual", "beats <who> senseless with a 50lb Linux manual.",
"cats /dev/random into <who>'s ear", "cats /dev/random into <who>'s ear.",
"signs <who> up for AOL", "signs <who> up for AOL.",
"downvotes <who> on Reddit", "downvotes <who> on Reddit.",
"enrolls <who> in Visual Basic 101", "enrolls <who> in Visual Basic 101.",
"sporks <who>", "sporks <who>.",
"drops a truckload of support tickets on <who>", "drops a truckload of support tickets on <who>.",
"judo chops <who>", "judo chops <who>.",
"sets <who>'s resolution to 800x600", "sets <who>'s resolution to 800x600.",
"formats <who>'s harddrive to fat12", "formats <who>'s harddrive to fat12.",
"rm -rf's <who>", "rm -rf's <who>.",
"stabs <who>", "stabs <who>.",
"makes <who> learn C++", "makes <who> learn C++.",
"steals <who>'s mojo", "steals <who>'s mojo.",
"strangles <who> with a doohicky mouse cord", "strangles <who> with a doohicky mouse cord.",
"whacks <who> with the cluebat", "whacks <who> with the cluebat.",
"sells <who> on EBay", "sells <who> on EBay.",
"drops creepers on <who>'s house", "drops creepers on <who>'s house.",
"throws all of <who>'s diamond gear into lava", "throws all of <who>'s diamond gear into lava.",
"uses <who> as a biological warfare study", "uses <who> as a biological warfare study.",
"uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on <who>", "uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on <who>.",
"puts <who> in the Total Perspective Vortex", "puts <who> in the Total Perspective Vortex.",
"casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom",
"gives <who> a melvin",
"turns <who> over to the Fun Police",
"turns over <who> to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'",
"takes away <who>'s internet connection",
"pushes <who> past the Shoe Event Horizon",
"counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at <who>",
"puts <who> in a nest of camel spiders",
"makes <who> read slashdot at -1",
"puts 'alias vim=emacs' in <who>'s /etc/profile",
"uninstalls every web browser from <who>'s system",
"locks <who> in the Chateau d'If",
"signs <who> up for getting hit on the head lessons",
"makes <who> try to set up a Lexmark printer",
"fills <who>'s eyedrop bottle with lime juice",
"casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.", "casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.",
"gives <who> a Flying Dutchman", "gives <who> a melvin.",
"rips off <who>'s arm, and uses it to beat them to death", "turns <who> over to the Fun Police.",
"pierces <who>'s nose with a rusty paper hole puncher", "turns over <who> to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'.",
"pokes <who> with a rusty nail", "takes away <who>'s internet connection.",
"puts sugar between <who>'s bedsheets", "pushes <who> past the Shoe Event Horizon.",
"pours sand into <who>'s breakfast", "counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at <who>.",
"mixes epoxy into <who>'s toothpaste", "puts <who> in a nest of camel spiders.",
"puts Icy-Hot in <who>'s lube container", "makes <who> read slashdot at -1.",
"straps <who> to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\"", "puts 'alias vim=emacs' in <who>'s /etc/profile.",
"tells Dr. Dre that <who> was talking smack", "uninstalls every web browser from <who>'s system.",
"forces <who> to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing", "locks <who> in the Chateau d'If.",
"smacks <who> in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass", "signs <who> up for getting hit on the head lessons.",
"puts <who> in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives", "makes <who> try to set up a Lexmark printer.",
"makes <who> watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\"", "fills <who>'s eyedrop bottle with lime juice.",
"puts lye in <who>'s coffee", "casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.",
"tattoos the Windows symbol on <who>'s ass", "gives <who> a Flying Dutchman.",
"lets Borg have his way with <who>", "rips off <who>'s arm, and uses it to beat them to death.",
"signs <who> up for line dancing classes at the local senior center", "pierces <who>'s nose with a rusty paper hole puncher.",
"wakes <who> out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings", "pokes <who> with a rusty nail.",
"gives <who> a 2 gauge Prince Albert", "puts sugar between <who>'s bedsheets.",
"forces <who> to eat all their veggies", "pours sand into <who>'s breakfast.",
"covers <who>'s toilet paper with lemon-pepper", "mixes epoxy into <who>'s toothpaste.",
"fills <who>'s ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce", "puts Icy-Hot in <who>'s lube container.",
"forces <who> to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly never-ending IRC political debate", "straps <who> to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\".",
"knocks two of <who>'s teeth out with a 2x4", "tells Dr. Dre that <who> was talking smack.",
"removes Debian from <who>'s system", "forces <who> to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing.",
"uses <who>'s iPod for skeet shooting practice", "smacks <who> in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass.",
"gives <who>'s phone number to Borg", "puts <who> in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives.",
"posts <who>'s IP, username, and password on 4chan", "makes <who> watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\".",
"forces <who> to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass)", "puts lye in <who>'s coffee.",
"tickles <who> until they wet their pants and pass out", "introduces <who> to the clue-by-four.",
"replaces <who>'s KY with elmer's clear wood glue", "tattoos the Windows symbol on <who>'s ass.",
"replaces <who>'s TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets", "lets Borg have his way with <who>.",
"squeezes habanero pepper juice into <who>'s tub of vaseline", "signs <who> up for line dancing classes at the local senior center.",
"Forces <who> to learn the Win32 API", "wakes <who> out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings.",
"gives <who> an atomic wedgie", "gives <who> a 2 gauge Prince Albert.",
"ties <who> to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast", "forces <who> to eat all their veggies.",
"forces <who> to use notepad for text editing", "covers <who>'s toilet paper with lemon-pepper.",
"frowns at <who> really really hard", "fills <who>'s ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce.",
"jabs a hot lighter into <who>'s eye sockets", "forces <who> to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly never-ending IRC political debate.",
"forces <who> to browse the web with IE6", "knocks two of <who>'s teeth out with a 2x4.",
"takes <who> out at the knees with a broken pool cue", "removes Debian from <who>'s system.",
"forces <who> to listen to emo music", "switches <who> over to CentOS.",
"lets a few creepers into <who>'s house", "uses <who>'s iPod for skeet shooting practice.",
"signs <who> up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship", "gives <who>'s phone number to Borg.",
"attempts to hotswap <who>'s RAM", "posts <who>'s IP, username(s), and password(s) on 4chan.",
"dragon punches <who>", "forces <who> to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass).",
"puts track spikes into <who>'s side", "tickles <who> until they wet their pants and pass out.",
"replaces <who>'s Astroglide with JB Weld", "replaces <who>'s KY with elmer's clear wood glue.",
"replaces <who>'s stress pills with rat poison pellets", "replaces <who>'s TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets.",
"replaces <who>s crotch itch cream with Nair", "squeezes habanero pepper juice into <who>'s tub of vaseline.",
"does the Australian Death Grip on <who>", "forces <who> to learn the Win32 API.",
"gives <who> an atomic wedgie.",
"ties <who> to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast.",
"forces <who> to use notepad for text editing.",
"frowns at <who> really, really hard.",
"jabs a hot lighter into <who>'s eye sockets.",
"forces <who> to browse the web with IE6.",
"takes <who> out at the knees with a broken pool cue.",
"forces <who> to listen to emo music.",
"lets a few creepers into <who>'s house.",
"signs <who> up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship.",
"attempts to hotswap <who>'s RAM.",
"dragon punches <who>.",
"puts railroad spikes into <who>'s side.",
"replaces <who>'s Astroglide with JB Weld.",
"replaces <who>'s stress pills with rat poison pellets.",
"replaces <who>'s crotch itch cream with Nair.",
"does the Australian Death Grip on <who>.",
"dances upon the grave of <who>'s ancestors.", "dances upon the grave of <who>'s ancestors.",
"farts in <who>'s general direction", "farts in <who>'s general direction.",
"flogs <who> with stinging nettle", "flogs <who> with stinging nettle.",
"assigns all of the permissions tickets on the BeastNode support system to <who>", "intoduces <who> to the Knights who say Ni.",
"hands <who> a poison ivy joint"] "assigns all of the permissions tickets on the BeastNode support system to <who>.",
"hands <who> a poison ivy joint."]
@hook.command @hook.command
def lart(inp, me=None, nick=None, input=None, notice=None): def lart(inp, me=None, nick=None, input=None, notice=None):