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Tweaked lart to remove some more confusing stuff

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This commit is contained in:
Luke Rogers 2013-08-06 09:54:34 +12:00
parent 66fd6ca1d5
commit 132ad104ed
1 changed files with 4 additions and 10 deletions
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14
plugins/data/larts.txt
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@ -1,6 +1,6 @@
smacks {user} in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass. smacks {user} in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass.
swaps {user}'s shampoo with glue. swaps {user}'s shampoo with glue.
installs Windows on {user}'s computer. installs Windows Vista on {user}'s computer.
forces {user} to use perl for 3 weeks. forces {user} to use perl for 3 weeks.
registers {user}'s name with 50 known spammers. registers {user}'s name with 50 known spammers.
resizes {user}'s console to 40x24. resizes {user}'s console to 40x24.
@ -37,10 +37,8 @@ takes away {user}'s internet connection.
pushes {user} past the Shoe Event Horizon. pushes {user} past the Shoe Event Horizon.
counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at {user}. counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at {user}.
puts {user} in a nest of camel spiders. puts {user} in a nest of camel spiders.
makes {user} read slashdot at -1.
puts 'alias vim=emacs' in {user}'s /etc/profile. puts 'alias vim=emacs' in {user}'s /etc/profile.
uninstalls every web browser from {user}'s system. uninstalls every web browser from {user}'s system.
locks {user} in the Chateau d'If.
signs {user} up for getting hit on the head lessons. signs {user} up for getting hit on the head lessons.
makes {user} try to set up a Lexmark printer. makes {user} try to set up a Lexmark printer.
fills {user}'s eyedrop bottle with lime juice. fills {user}'s eyedrop bottle with lime juice.
@ -53,13 +51,10 @@ puts sugar between {user}'s bedsheets.
pours sand into {user}'s breakfast. pours sand into {user}'s breakfast.
mixes epoxy into {user}'s toothpaste. mixes epoxy into {user}'s toothpaste.
puts Icy-Hot in {user}'s lube container. puts Icy-Hot in {user}'s lube container.
straps {user} to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of "the world's most annoying sound" from "Dumb and Dumber".
tells Dr. Dre that {user} was talking smack.
forces {user} to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing. forces {user} to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing.
puts {user} in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives. puts {user} in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives.
makes {user} watch reruns of "Blue's Clues". makes {user} watch reruns of "Blue's Clues".
puts lye in {user}'s coffee. puts lye in {user}'s coffee.
introduces {user} to the clue-by-four.
tattoos the Windows symbol on {user}'s ass. tattoos the Windows symbol on {user}'s ass.
lets Borg have his way with {user}. lets Borg have his way with {user}.
signs {user} up for line dancing classes at the local senior center. signs {user} up for line dancing classes at the local senior center.
@ -94,12 +89,11 @@ signs {user} up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship.
attempts to hotswap {user}'s RAM. attempts to hotswap {user}'s RAM.
dragon punches {user}. dragon punches {user}.
puts railroad spikes into {user}'s side. puts railroad spikes into {user}'s side.
replaces {user}'s Astroglide with JB Weld. replaces {user}'s lubricant with liquid weld.
replaces {user}'s stress pills with rat poison pellets. replaces {user}'s stress pills with rat poison pellets.
replaces {user}'s crotch itch cream with Nair. replaces {user}'s itch cream with hair removal cream.
does the Australian Death Grip on {user}. does the Australian Death Grip on {user}.
dances upon the grave of {user}'s ancestors. dances upon the grave of {user}'s ancestors.
farts in {user}'s general direction. farts loudly in {user}'s general direction.
flogs {user} with stinging nettle. flogs {user} with stinging nettle.
intoduces {user} to the Knights who say Ni.
hands {user} a poison ivy joint. hands {user} a poison ivy joint.