From 132ad104ed9936cc42c64794e01c29e253bfd2bc Mon Sep 17 00:00:00 2001 From: Luke Rogers Date: Tue, 6 Aug 2013 09:54:34 +1200 Subject: [PATCH] Tweaked lart to remove some more confusing stuff --- plugins/data/larts.txt | 14 ++++---------- 1 file changed, 4 insertions(+), 10 deletions(-) diff --git a/plugins/data/larts.txt b/plugins/data/larts.txt index 5cdad23..029e3a0 100755 --- a/plugins/data/larts.txt +++ b/plugins/data/larts.txt @@ -1,6 +1,6 @@ smacks {user} in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass. swaps {user}'s shampoo with glue. -installs Windows on {user}'s computer. +installs Windows Vista on {user}'s computer. forces {user} to use perl for 3 weeks. registers {user}'s name with 50 known spammers. resizes {user}'s console to 40x24. @@ -37,10 +37,8 @@ takes away {user}'s internet connection. pushes {user} past the Shoe Event Horizon. counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at {user}. puts {user} in a nest of camel spiders. -makes {user} read slashdot at -1. puts 'alias vim=emacs' in {user}'s /etc/profile. uninstalls every web browser from {user}'s system. -locks {user} in the Chateau d'If. signs {user} up for getting hit on the head lessons. makes {user} try to set up a Lexmark printer. fills {user}'s eyedrop bottle with lime juice. @@ -53,13 +51,10 @@ puts sugar between {user}'s bedsheets. pours sand into {user}'s breakfast. mixes epoxy into {user}'s toothpaste. puts Icy-Hot in {user}'s lube container. -straps {user} to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of "the world's most annoying sound" from "Dumb and Dumber". -tells Dr. Dre that {user} was talking smack. forces {user} to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing. puts {user} in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives. makes {user} watch reruns of "Blue's Clues". puts lye in {user}'s coffee. -introduces {user} to the clue-by-four. tattoos the Windows symbol on {user}'s ass. lets Borg have his way with {user}. signs {user} up for line dancing classes at the local senior center. @@ -94,12 +89,11 @@ signs {user} up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship. attempts to hotswap {user}'s RAM. dragon punches {user}. puts railroad spikes into {user}'s side. -replaces {user}'s Astroglide with JB Weld. +replaces {user}'s lubricant with liquid weld. replaces {user}'s stress pills with rat poison pellets. -replaces {user}'s crotch itch cream with Nair. +replaces {user}'s itch cream with hair removal cream. does the Australian Death Grip on {user}. dances upon the grave of {user}'s ancestors. -farts in {user}'s general direction. +farts loudly in {user}'s general direction. flogs {user} with stinging nettle. -intoduces {user} to the Knights who say Ni. hands {user} a poison ivy joint.