diff --git a/plugins/flirt.py b/plugins/flirt.py index d011e40..5c796bf 100755 --- a/plugins/flirt.py +++ b/plugins/flirt.py @@ -43,17 +43,15 @@ flirts = ["I bet your name's Mickey, 'cause you're so fine.", "Nice legs. What time do they open?", "Your daddy must have been a baker, because you've got a nice set of buns."] + @hook.command(autohelp=False) def flirt(inp, nick=None, me=None, input=None): ".flirt -- Make the bot flirt with ." - msg = "flirts with " + nick + "... \"" + random.choice(flirts) + "\"" if re.match("^[A-Za-z0-9_|.-\]\[]*$", inp.lower()) and inp != "": msg = "flirts with " + inp + "... \"" + random.choice(flirts) + "\"" - if inp == input.conn.nick.lower() or inp == "itself": - msg = "flirts with itself!" - + msg = "flirts with itself... \"" + random.choice(flirts) + "\"" me(msg) diff --git a/plugins/kill.py b/plugins/kill.py index 7c08b30..845a463 100755 --- a/plugins/kill.py +++ b/plugins/kill.py @@ -31,7 +31,9 @@ def kill(inp, me = None, nick = None, input=None, notice=None): return if inp == input.conn.nick.lower() or inp == "itself": - msg = 'kills ' + nick + ' and rakes their corpse (:3)' + kill = random.choice(kills) + kill = re.sub ('', nick, kill) + msg = re.sub ('', random.choice(body), kill) else: kill = random.choice(kills) kill = re.sub ('', inp, kill) diff --git a/plugins/lart.py b/plugins/lart.py new file mode 100755 index 0000000..651267e --- /dev/null +++ b/plugins/lart.py @@ -0,0 +1,119 @@ +from util import hook +import re +import random + +larts = ["swaps 's shampoo with glue", + "installs windows on 's machine", + "forces to use perl for 3 weeks", + "registers 's name with 50 known spammers", + "resizes 's console to 40x24", + "takes 's drink", + "dispenses 's email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'", + "pokes in the eye", + "beats senseless with a 50lb Linux manual", + "cats /dev/random into 's ear", + "signs up for AOL", + "enrolls in Visual Basic 101", + "sporks ", + "drops a truckload of support tickets on ", + "judo chops ", + "sets 's resolution to 800x600", + "formats 's harddrive to fat12", + "rm -rf's ", + "stabs ", + "steals 's mojo", + "strangles with a doohicky mouse cord", + "whacks with the cluebat", + "sells on EBay", + "uses as a biological warfare study", + "uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on ", + "puts in the Total Perspective Vortex", + "casts into the fires of Mt. Doom", + "gives a melvin", + "turns over to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'", + "takes away 's internet connection", + "pushes past the Shoe Event Horizon", + "counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at ", + "puts in a nest of camel spiders", + "makes read slashdot at -1", + "puts 'alias vim=emacs' in 's /etc/profile", + "uninstalls every web browser from 's system", + "locks in the Chateau d'If", + "signs up for getting hit on the head lessons", + "makes try to set up a Lexmark printer", + "fills 's eyedrop bottle with lime juice", + "casts into the fires of Mt. Doom.", + "gives a Flying Dutchman", + "rips off 's arm, and uses it to beat them to death", + "pierces 's nose with a rusty paper hole puncher", + "pokes with a rusty nail", + "puts sugar between 's bedsheets", + "pours sand into 's breakfast", + "mixes epoxy into 's toothpaste", + "puts Icy-Hot in 's lube container", + "straps to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\"", + "tells Dr. Dre that was talking smack", + "forces to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing", + "smacks in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass", + "puts in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives", + "makes watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\"", + "puts lye in 's coffee", + "tattoos the Windows symbol on 's ass", + "lets Borg have his way with ", + "signs up for line dancing classes at the local senior center", + "wakes out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings", + "gives a 2 guage Prince Albert", + "forces to eat all their veggies", + "covers 's toilet paper with lemon-pepper", + "fills 's ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce", + "forces to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly neverending IRC political debate", + "knocks two of 's teeth out with a 2x4", + "removes debian from 's system", + "uses 's iPod for skeet shooting practice", + "gives 's phone number to Borg", + "posts 's IP, username, and password on 4chan", + "forces to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass)", + "tickles until they wet their pants and pass out", + "replaces 's KY with elmer's clear wood glue", + "replaces 's TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets", + "squeezes habanero pepper juice into 's tub of vaseline", + "Forces to learn the Win32 API", + "gives an atomic wedgie", + "ties to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast", + "forces to use notepad for text editing", + "frowns at really really hard", + "jabs a hot lighter into 's eye sockets", + "forces to browse the web with IE6", + "takes out at the knees with a broken pool cue", + "forces to listen to emo music", + "lets a few creepers into 's house", + "signs up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship", + "attempts to hotswap 's RAM", + "dragon punches ", + "puts track spikes into 's side", + "replaces 's Astroglide with JB Weld", + "replaces 's stress pills with rat poison pellets", + "replaces s crotch itch cream with Nair", + "does the Australian Death Grip on ", + "dances upon the grave of 's ancestors.", + "farts in 's general direction", + "flogs with stinging neddle", + "assigns all of the permissions tickets on the BeastNode support system to ", + "hands a poison ivy joint"] + +@hook.command +def lart(inp, me = None, nick = None, input=None, notice=None): + ".lart -- Makes the bot LART ." + inp = inp.strip() + + if not re.match("^[A-Za-z0-9_|.-\]\[]*$", inp.lower()): + notice("Invalid username!") + return + + if inp == input.conn.nick.lower() or inp == "itself": + msg = re.sub ('', nick, random.choice(larts)) + else: + msg = re.sub ('', inp, random.choice(larts)) + + me(msg) + diff --git a/plugins/slap.py b/plugins/slap.py index 3270855..5259bdc 100755 --- a/plugins/slap.py +++ b/plugins/slap.py @@ -2,105 +2,6 @@ from util import hook import re import random -larts = ["swaps 's shampoo with glue", - "installs windows on 's machine", - "forces to use perl for 3 weeks", - "registers 's name with 50 known spammers", - "resizes 's console to 40x24", - "takes 's drink", - "dispenses 's email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'", - "pokes in the eye", - "beats senseless with a 50lb Linux manual", - "cats /dev/random into 's ear", - "signs up for AOL", - "enrolls in Visual Basic 101", - "sporks ", - "drops a truckload of support tickets on ", - "judo chops ", - "sets 's resolution to 800x600", - "formats 's harddrive to fat12", - "rm -rf's ", - "stabs ", - "steals 's mojo", - "strangles with a doohicky mouse cord", - "whacks with the cluebat", - "sells on EBay", - "uses as a biological warfare study", - "uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on ", - "puts in the Total Perspective Vortex", - "casts into the fires of Mt. Doom", - "gives a melvin", - "turns over to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'", - "takes away 's internet connection", - "pushes past the Shoe Event Horizon", - "counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at ", - "puts in a nest of camel spiders", - "makes read slashdot at -1", - "puts 'alias vim=emacs' in 's /etc/profile", - "uninstalls every web browser from 's system", - "locks in the Chateau d'If", - "signs up for getting hit on the head lessons", - "makes try to set up a Lexmark printer", - "fills 's eyedrop bottle with lime juice", - "casts into the fires of Mt. Doom.", - "gives a Flying Dutchman", - "rips off 's arm, and uses it to beat them to death", - "pierces 's nose with a rusty paper hole puncher", - "pokes with a rusty nail", - "puts sugar between 's bedsheets", - "pours sand into 's breakfast", - "mixes epoxy into 's toothpaste", - "puts Icy-Hot in 's lube container", - "straps to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\"", - "tells Dr. Dre that was talking smack", - "forces to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing", - "smacks in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass", - "puts in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives", - "makes watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\"", - "puts lye in 's coffee", - "tattoos the Windows symbol on 's ass", - "lets Borg have his way with ", - "signs up for line dancing classes at the local senior center", - "wakes out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings", - "gives a 2 guage Prince Albert", - "forces to eat all their veggies", - "covers 's toilet paper with lemon-pepper", - "fills 's ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce", - "forces to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly neverending IRC political debate", - "knocks two of 's teeth out with a 2x4", - "removes debian from 's system", - "uses 's iPod for skeet shooting practice", - "gives 's phone number to Borg", - "posts 's IP, username, and password on 4chan", - "forces to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass)", - "tickles until they wet their pants and pass out", - "replaces 's KY with elmer's clear wood glue", - "replaces 's TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets", - "squeezes habanero pepper juice into 's tub of vaseline", - "Forces to learn the Win32 API", - "gives an atomic wedgie", - "ties to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast", - "forces to use notepad for text editing", - "frowns at really really hard", - "jabs a hot lighter into 's eye sockets", - "forces to browse the web with IE6", - "takes out at the knees with a broken pool cue", - "forces to listen to emo music", - "lets a few creepers into 's house", - "signs up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship", - "attempts to hotswap 's RAM", - "dragon punches ", - "puts track spikes into 's side", - "replaces 's Astroglide with JB Weld", - "replaces 's stress pills with rat poison pellets", - "replaces s crotch itch cream with Nair", - "does the Australian Death Grip on ", - "dances upon the grave of 's ancestors.", - "farts in 's general direction", - "flogs with stinging neddle", - "assigns all of the permissions tickets on the BeastNode support system to ", - "hands a poison ivy joint"] - slaps = ["slaps with a ", "slaps around a bit with a ", "throws a at ", @@ -118,30 +19,16 @@ items = ["cast iron skillet", "CRT monitor", "physics textbook", "television", - "five tonne truck", + "mau5 head", + "five tonn truck", "roll of duct tape", "book", "rubber chicken", + "gold block", "fire extinguisher", "heavy rock", "chunk of dirt"] -@hook.command -def lart(inp, me = None, nick = None, input=None, notice=None): - ".lart -- Makes the bot LART ." - inp = inp.strip() - - if not re.match("^[A-Za-z0-9_|.-\]\[]*$", inp.lower()): - notice("Invalid username!") - return - - if inp == input.conn.nick.lower() or inp == "itself": - msg = 'slaps ' + nick + ' in the face!' - else: - msg = re.sub ('', inp, random.choice(larts)) - - me(msg) - @hook.command def slap(inp, me = None, nick = None, input=None, notice=None): ".slap -- Makes the bot slap ." @@ -152,7 +39,9 @@ def slap(inp, me = None, nick = None, input=None, notice=None): return if inp == input.conn.nick.lower() or inp == "itself": - msg = 'slaps ' + nick + ' in the face!' + slap = random.choice(slaps) + slap = re.sub ('', nick, slap) + msg = re.sub ('', random.choice(items), slap) else: slap = random.choice(slaps) slap = re.sub ('', inp, slap)