Finished updating violence.py
This commit is contained in:
parent
62690d76eb
commit
98fd588736
3 changed files with 114 additions and 132 deletions
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@ -1,9 +0,0 @@
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head
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arms
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legs
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arm
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leg
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toes
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fingers
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"special parts"
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"man bits"
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@ -1,105 +1,105 @@
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swaps <who>'s shampoo with glue.
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installs Windows on <who>'s computer.
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forces <who> to use perl for 3 weeks.
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registers <who>'s name with 50 known spammers.
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resizes <who>'s console to 40x24.
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takes <who>'s drink.
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dispenses <who>'s email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'.
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pokes <who> in the eye.
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beats <who> senseless with a 50lb Linux manual.
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cats /dev/random into <who>'s ear.
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signs <who> up for AOL.
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downvotes <who> on Reddit.
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enrolls <who> in Visual Basic 101.
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sporks <who>.
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drops a truckload of support tickets on <who>.
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judo chops <who>.
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sets <who>'s resolution to 800x600.
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formats <who>'s harddrive to fat12.
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rm -rf's <who>.
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stabs <who>.
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makes <who> learn C++.
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steals <who>'s mojo.
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strangles <who> with a doohicky mouse cord.
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whacks <who> with the cluebat.
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sells <who> on EBay.
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drops creepers on <who>'s house.
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throws all of <who>'s diamond gear into lava.
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uses <who> as a biological warfare study.
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uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on <who>.
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puts <who> in the Total Perspective Vortex.
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casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.
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gives <who> a melvin.
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turns <who> over to the Fun Police.
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turns over <who> to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'.
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takes away <who>'s internet connection.
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pushes <who> past the Shoe Event Horizon.
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counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at <who>.
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puts <who> in a nest of camel spiders.
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makes <who> read slashdot at -1.
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puts 'alias vim=emacs' in <who>'s /etc/profile.
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uninstalls every web browser from <who>'s system.
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locks <who> in the Chateau d'If.
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signs <who> up for getting hit on the head lessons.
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makes <who> try to set up a Lexmark printer.
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fills <who>'s eyedrop bottle with lime juice.
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casts <who> into the fires of Mt. Doom.
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gives <who> a Flying Dutchman.
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rips off <who>'s arm, and uses it to beat them to death.
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pierces <who>'s nose with a rusty paper hole puncher.
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pokes <who> with a rusty nail.
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puts sugar between <who>'s bedsheets.
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pours sand into <who>'s breakfast.
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mixes epoxy into <who>'s toothpaste.
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puts Icy-Hot in <who>'s lube container.
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straps <who> to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\".
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tells Dr. Dre that <who> was talking smack.
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forces <who> to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing.
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smacks <who> in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass.
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puts <who> in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives.
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makes <who> watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\".
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puts lye in <who>'s coffee.
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introduces <who> to the clue-by-four.
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tattoos the Windows symbol on <who>'s ass.
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lets Borg have his way with <who>.
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signs <who> up for line dancing classes at the local senior center.
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wakes <who> out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings.
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gives <who> a 2 gauge Prince Albert.
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forces <who> to eat all their veggies.
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covers <who>'s toilet paper with lemon-pepper.
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fills <who>'s ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce.
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forces <who> to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly never-ending IRC political debate.
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knocks two of <who>'s teeth out with a 2x4.
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removes Debian from <who>'s system.
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switches <who> over to CentOS.
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uses <who>'s iPod for skeet shooting practice.
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gives <who>'s phone number to Borg.
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posts <who>'s IP, username(s), and password(s) on 4chan.
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forces <who> to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass).
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tickles <who> until they wet their pants and pass out.
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replaces <who>'s KY with elmer's clear wood glue.
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replaces <who>'s TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets.
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squeezes habanero pepper juice into <who>'s tub of vaseline.
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forces <who> to learn the Win32 API.
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gives <who> an atomic wedgie.
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ties <who> to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast.
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forces <who> to use notepad for text editing.
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frowns at <who> really, really hard.
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jabs a hot lighter into <who>'s eye sockets.
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forces <who> to browse the web with IE6.
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takes <who> out at the knees with a broken pool cue.
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forces <who> to listen to emo music.
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lets a few creepers into <who>'s house.
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signs <who> up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship.
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attempts to hotswap <who>'s RAM.
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dragon punches <who>.
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puts railroad spikes into <who>'s side.
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replaces <who>'s Astroglide with JB Weld.
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replaces <who>'s stress pills with rat poison pellets.
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replaces <who>'s crotch itch cream with Nair.
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does the Australian Death Grip on <who>.
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dances upon the grave of <who>'s ancestors.
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farts in <who>'s general direction.
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flogs <who> with stinging nettle.
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intoduces <who> to the Knights who say Ni.
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hands <who> a poison ivy joint.
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smacks {user} in the face with a burlap sack full of broken glass.
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swaps {user}'s shampoo with glue.
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installs Windows on {user}'s computer.
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forces {user} to use perl for 3 weeks.
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registers {user}'s name with 50 known spammers.
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resizes {user}'s console to 40x24.
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takes {user}'s drink.
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dispenses {user}'s email address to a few hundred 'bulk mailing services'.
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pokes {user} in the eye.
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beats {user} senseless with a 50lb Linux manual.
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cats /dev/random into {user}'s ear.
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signs {user} up for AOL.
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downvotes {user} on Reddit.
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enrolls {user} in Visual Basic 101.
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sporks {user}.
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drops a truckload of support tickets on {user}.
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judo chops {user}.
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sets {user}'s resolution to 800x600.
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formats {user}'s harddrive to fat12.
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rm -rf's {user}.
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stabs {user}.
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makes {user} learn C++.
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steals {user}'s mojo.
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strangles {user} with a doohicky mouse cord.
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whacks {user} with the cluebat.
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sells {user} on EBay.
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drops creepers on {user}'s house.
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throws all of {user}'s diamond gear into lava.
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uses {user} as a biological warfare study.
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uses the 'Customer Appreciation Bat' on {user}.
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puts {user} in the Total Perspective Vortex.
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casts {user} into the fires of Mt. Doom.
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gives {user} a melvin.
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turns {user} over to the Fun Police.
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turns over {user} to Agent Smith to be 'bugged'.
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takes away {user}'s internet connection.
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pushes {user} past the Shoe Event Horizon.
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counts '1, 2, 5... er... 3!' and hurls the Holy Handgrenade Of Antioch at {user}.
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puts {user} in a nest of camel spiders.
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makes {user} read slashdot at -1.
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puts 'alias vim=emacs' in {user}'s /etc/profile.
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uninstalls every web browser from {user}'s system.
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locks {user} in the Chateau d'If.
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signs {user} up for getting hit on the head lessons.
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makes {user} try to set up a Lexmark printer.
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fills {user}'s eyedrop bottle with lime juice.
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casts {user} into the fires of Mt. Doom.
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gives {user} a Flying Dutchman.
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rips off {user}'s arm, and uses it to beat them to death.
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pierces {user}'s nose with a rusty paper hole puncher.
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pokes {user} with a rusty nail.
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puts sugar between {user}'s bedsheets.
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pours sand into {user}'s breakfast.
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mixes epoxy into {user}'s toothpaste.
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puts Icy-Hot in {user}'s lube container.
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straps {user} to a chair, and plays a endless low bitrate MP3 loop of \"the world's most annoying sound\" from \"Dumb and Dumber\".
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tells Dr. Dre that {user} was talking smack.
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forces {user} to use a Commodore 64 for all their word processing.
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puts {user} in a room with several heavily armed manic depressives.
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makes {user} watch reruns of \"Blue's Clues\".
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puts lye in {user}'s coffee.
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introduces {user} to the clue-by-four.
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tattoos the Windows symbol on {user}'s ass.
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lets Borg have his way with {user}.
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signs {user} up for line dancing classes at the local senior center.
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wakes {user} out of a sound sleep with some brand new nipple piercings.
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gives {user} a 2 gauge Prince Albert.
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forces {user} to eat all their veggies.
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covers {user}'s toilet paper with lemon-pepper.
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fills {user}'s ketchup bottle with Dave's Insanity sauce.
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forces {user} to stare at an incredibly frustrating and seemingly never-ending IRC political debate.
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knocks two of {user}'s teeth out with a 2x4.
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removes Debian from {user}'s system.
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switches {user} over to CentOS.
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uses {user}'s iPod for skeet shooting practice.
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gives {user}'s phone number to Borg.
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posts {user}'s IP, username(s), and password(s) on 4chan.
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forces {user} to use words like 'irregardless' and 'administrate' (thereby sounding like a real dumbass).
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tickles {user} until they wet their pants and pass out.
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replaces {user}'s KY with elmer's clear wood glue.
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replaces {user}'s TUMS with alka-seltzer tablets.
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squeezes habanero pepper juice into {user}'s tub of vaseline.
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forces {user} to learn the Win32 API.
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gives {user} an atomic wedgie.
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ties {user} to a chair and forces them to listen to 'N Sync at full blast.
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forces {user} to use notepad for text editing.
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frowns at {user} really, really hard.
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jabs a hot lighter into {user}'s eye sockets.
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forces {user} to browse the web with IE6.
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takes {user} out at the knees with a broken pool cue.
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forces {user} to listen to emo music.
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lets a few creepers into {user}'s house.
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signs {user} up for the Iowa State Ferret Legging Championship.
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attempts to hotswap {user}'s RAM.
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dragon punches {user}.
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puts railroad spikes into {user}'s side.
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replaces {user}'s Astroglide with JB Weld.
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replaces {user}'s stress pills with rat poison pellets.
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replaces {user}'s crotch itch cream with Nair.
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does the Australian Death Grip on {user}.
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dances upon the grave of {user}'s ancestors.
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farts in {user}'s general direction.
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flogs {user} with stinging nettle.
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intoduces {user} to the Knights who say Ni.
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hands {user} a poison ivy joint.
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@ -1,10 +1,6 @@
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from util import hook
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import re
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import random
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nick_re = re.compile(r"^[A-Za-z0-9_|\.\-\]\[]*$")
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with open("plugins/data/larts.txt") as f:
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larts = [line.strip() for line in f.readlines()
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if not line.startswith("//")]
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@ -21,15 +17,10 @@ with open("plugins/data/kills.txt") as f:
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kills = [line.strip() for line in f.readlines()
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if not line.startswith("//")]
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with open("plugins/data/kill_bodyparts.txt") as f:
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parts = [line.strip() for line in f.readlines()
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if not line.startswith("//")]
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@hook.command
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def slap(inp, me=None, nick=None, conn=None, notice=None):
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"slap <user> -- Makes the bot slap <user>."
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target = inp.strip()
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if " " in target:
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@ -50,21 +41,21 @@ def slap(inp, me=None, nick=None, conn=None, notice=None):
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@hook.command
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def lart(inp, me=None, nick=None, conn=None, notice=None):
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"lart <user> -- LARTs <user>."
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target = inp.lower()
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target = inp.strip()
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if not re.match(nick_re, target):
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if " " in target:
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notice("Invalid username!")
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return
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if target == conn.nick.lower() or target == "itself":
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# if the user is trying to make the bot slap itself, slap them
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if target.lower() == conn.nick.lower() or target.lower() == "itself":
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target = nick
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else:
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target = inp
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out = random.choice(larts)
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out = out.replace('<who>', target)
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out = out.replace('<item>', random.choice(items))
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me(out)
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values = {"user": target}
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phrase = random.choice(larts)
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# act out the message
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me(phrase.format(**values))
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@hook.command
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